I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
