ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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