she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
