I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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