you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
