the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
