Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
