if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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