How'd it feel making her break her religion?
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize