wanna go halves on a baby?
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize