I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
