I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize