FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
