i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
