And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I have peed in a lot of sinks
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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