Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize