Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize