i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Randomize
