we're blogging at a bar
I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
