How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
