...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
you didnt know i had herpes?
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
