She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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