All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
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