Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
