K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
