Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
