I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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