You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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