i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
