he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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