how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
