That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Randomize
