Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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