i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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