Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I had to cum in my sink.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
