I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
