you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
