there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
