ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
