So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
