I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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