Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
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