He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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