I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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