soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
