I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
We named our party play list daddy issues
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
