My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
