I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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