I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize