She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
