I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
