just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
