we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
