She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
