Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Randomize
