Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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