NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
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