i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
