I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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