Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
