Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
