I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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