just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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