dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
You may now shotgun with the bride
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
