This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Randomize
