My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
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So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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