just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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