hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
